Can Adolescents Act Abusively?

Parents are often reluctant to admit that their teenager is acting in ways which are abusive due to their own feelings of guilt, shame or a sense of failure. In some of these cases, the adolescent was exposed to domestic violence or experienced abuse within the family at an earlier age and then repeats familiar family patterns at a later stage. In other cases, however, no history of abuse exists within the family.

Lesson from a Construction Site: Don't Dismiss the Scaffolding in Your Relationships

Marriages, like buildings, sometimes need scaffolding - temporary, unglamorous interventions - that provide the platform needed to repair damage and build a strong, lasting structure.

Understanding Relational Therapy and Why It Matters in Eating Disorder Treatment

This piece traces the evolution of relational therapy and shows why its emphasis on attunement, authenticity, and connection is especially effective in treating eating disorders. It reveals how the therapeutic relationship itself becomes a corrective emotional experience, allowing clients to access and heal the deeper wounds beneath disordered eating.

Resilience Series Part 3

In the previous blog, we discussed strategies to manage our emotional reactivity. Although similar, regulating emotions isn’t quite the same as managing how we react emotionally. Whereas managing emotional reactivity works like a light switch that can dim the frequency and intensity of our emotional reactions, regulating emotions, on the other hand, involves altering our emotional responses to situations. We might consider regulating emotions as our ability to adjust our own emotional states. Sometimes we do this by increasing our positive emotions, whereas other situations are better handled by decreasing our negative emotions. How...

Good Therapy is a Change in Scenery: Insights from the Other Side of the World

Every once in a while, important insights for my known world reveal themselves from the most unusual of places. My recent trip to the Far East: Myanmar and Thailand gifted me new insights and inspirations as a Jungian analyst. My mantra became, Good therapy is a change in scenery. In the safety of the therapist’s temenos (a beautiful Jungian term for the sanctity of the therapy space), patients meet the messages of the unconscious often for the first time. And in meeting these unknown voices and images, our inner and outer worlds transform themselves into newness and rebirth.

Is Anxiety Killing Your Chances of Finding Love?

Anna, a 35-year old, slim, petite and attractive brunette woman from Miami Beach had been…

40 Years of Research: Why Solving Your Marital Disputes is Not the Solution

Many couples think that they just need to be able to find an agreement, a compromise, a solution to their disagreements. And that couples' therapy is about solving their disagreements. In fact, for many years this is how couples' therapists approached therapy as well. Unfortunately, this approach failed and statistically, their success rates were very low. But the field of couples therapy research has changed dramatically. In the last 40 years, Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Leslie Greenberg, and Dr. Sue Johnson, to name a few major names have made real breakthroughs, having studied many thousands of couples, watching them closely in action, on live cameras, video, behind one-way glasses and otherwise. One of Gottman's findings is that about 70% of our disagreements as couples, never get solved! And this is true not only for failing couples but for the very successful couples as well! So, if solving problems is not what leads to success, what does? The answer is that as a therapist, I can help them reach such an emotional bond that makes the issue of solving problems redundant, a non-issue. Once they have this bond, they will not necessarily need me to solve their problems. Find out more inside.

Chewbacca Visits: The Power of a Dream

Dreams bring images and messages from the depths of our soul. It is our psyche’s way of compensating for our conscious life, which is only one-half of our life-story. Our dream life brings a richness and ebb and flow to our daily existence. Likewise when we are in touch with our unconscious, there is a flow to our daily existence much like the ebb and flow of the waves of the sea. Our unconscious helps bring us light and creativity and vitality.

The Fight or Flight Response: When Anxiety is Your Friend

Re-Frame Rejection so You Can Successfully Move Forward in Relationships

I have been rejected more times than I can count. By friends, boys, jobs, my kids, you name it… One of my most memorable rejections happened while in 6th grade. My English teacher encouraged us to write a journal, which I kept "hidden" in my desk. In it, I wrote all about a crush I had on a boy named Joey, a fellow classmate. I forgot that in the morning we sat at one desk and in the afternoon another. A fellow classmate found my journal and proceeded to read that very entry aloud to the entire class during recess.

Earth, Water, Air, and Fire

The four classical elements are channels through which we make contact with the present moment reality, and engage our uniquely human mind – a mind capable of creativity, of connecting to others, of faith and spirituality.  I offer you these four elements as resources in moments of stress, panic, fear, or any other overwhelming experience.

Shining Light on Feelings 

When we are able to just be with whatever we are feeling and experiencing, without judgement or an agenda we bring light

How to Connect With Your Partner in the Pandemic and Beyond

Consider this dream: you and your partner experience the pandemic with your marriage intact and your family even closer and more connected than ever. You can practice a more loving way of relating, with more kindness and giving. This blog offers practical tips for becoming a great communicator, being a generous listener, and adding gratitude to your relationship.

The Hidden Layers: A Therapist's Guide to Understanding Trauma

Just like an onion, trauma has many layers. What you see on the surface is rarely the full story, and true healing often begins when we start peeling back the "how," "who," "where," "when," and "why" behind the "what." This article explores the powerful onion metaphor in understanding trauma, revealing how a deeper look can lead to profound transformation. Discover why exploring every layer is essential for both clinicians and those on their healing journey.

Taking a U Turn From Thought: A Mindful Pathway Out of Trance

“Who is your enemy?” said the Buddha. “Mind is your enemy. Not one can harm you more than a mind untrained. Who is your friend? No one can assist you and care for you better than your mind well-trained. Not even the most loving mother or father.”

New Job Jitters

When beginning a new job if you are constantly worried about failing and feeling like you need to prove yourself at every turn that can cause significant stress which will most likely hinder performance.  Rather than engendering positive relationships and being open to learning, the fear of someone discovering shortcomings will be so pervasive that it will be very difficult to acclimate to the new position effectively.  On the other hand, a growth mindset which encourages you to learn from others, think about mistakes as essential to the process of learning and acclimating and being open to a new way of doing things will lead you to have more joy and energy, feel less anxious,  and make a good impression on your colleagues.

Life Skills Taught By Horses

In this insightful blog, we explore the transformative role of equine therapy in children's lives. Horses, far more than majestic creatures, are exceptional teachers, imparting essential life skills to young learners. We delve into how these animals mirror emotions, instill responsibility, and empower children, teaching them about trust, respect, and self-efficacy. This narrative goes beyond riding, highlighting how caring for horses shapes a child's character and resilience, revealing the profound impact of this unique human-animal bond in nurturing confident, empathetic, and responsible individuals.

Am I Depressed or Just Sad?

Growing up, I remember people saying, “I’m so depressed.” What made them so depressed? Various…

Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You – Part TWO

In part two of my blog, “Worry! Ways to Manage Worry Instead of it Managing You”, I am going to present to you some general recommendations and thoughts about dealing with worry.

Back To School With ADHD

Advice to parents who face particular challenges around back-to-school among children with ADHD. Suggestions are offered in the context of common challenges such as difficulties with lack of routine, learning new habits and impulsivity. I invite parents to consult with me to examine ways to understand what's behind certain behaviors and build strategies, smoothing the way for better coping.